Sexual Desire, Unmet Longing, and Union with God | Greg Coles & Julia Hejduk

Why would God give us sexual desires we can’t always fulfill? Can unmet sexual longing actually draw us closer to Jesus? Greg Coles and Julia Hejduk join me to explore what our desires reveal about being human—and about the God who longs for us.

Their book, Sexuality Beyond Sex: An Unexpected Conversation on Embodiment, Identity, and Desire, is one of the most theologically invigorating books I’ve read all year. Bringing Protestant and Catholic perspectives into conversation, Greg and Julia challenge the assumption that marriage and sexual activity are the ultimate fulfillment of our sexuality. What if our deepest longings point toward something even greater?

We discuss singleness, marriage, celibacy, suffering, and how unmet desire can cultivate humility and dependence on God. We also explore the surprising connection between sexuality and the Lord’s Supper, work through Catholic and Protestant disagreements about Communion, and consider what Mary’s story reveals about offering our bodies to God.

Greg Coles is a writer, speaker, and senior research fellow at The Center for Faith, Sexuality and Gender. Julia Hejduk is a Catholic scholar and professor of classics at Baylor University.

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CHAPTERS

00:00 Can unmet sexual desire be good?

00:46 Introducing Greg Coles and Julia Hejduk

03:32 What is sexuality actually for?

05:45 Marriage, Genesis, and the image of God

08:36 Sexual desire beyond marriage and procreation

12:07 Are we expecting too much from marriage?

14:07 Why would God give us desires we can’t fulfill?

17:09 Sponsors

19:59 How unmet desire cultivates humility

23:36 Sexual longing, suffering, and following Jesus

24:04 Writing together across Catholic–Protestant differences

29:56 Where they agree and disagree about Communion

33:14 What does the Eucharist have to do with sexuality?

35:42 The cross and the wedding feast of the Lamb

37:09 Why can’t Protestants receive Catholic Communion?

42:22 Spiritual Communion and the pain of exclusion

44:58 Martin Luther on sex, marriage, and celibacy

51:10 Learning from the saints and Mary

54:59 Understanding the Catholic view of Mary

59:33 Sexual fulfillment beyond sexual activity

62:44 The church’s need for non-straight Christians

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