560-Sync Up Your Parenting Approach | Dr. Kim Kimberling from Awesome Marriage

Sync Up Your Parenting Approach

When was the last time you and your spouse disagreed about how to parent?

Maybe one of you is more firm and the other is more flexible. Maybe you were raised very differently. Or maybe you agree on what you want for your kids, but you keep disagreeing about how to get there.

If that sounds familiar, you're not alone.

In this week's episode, Belah sits down with Dr. Kim Kimberling of Awesome Marriage to talk about how husbands and wives can become a stronger parenting team without allowing disagreements about the kids to create division in their marriage.

Dr. Kim has spent more than 40 years counseling couples and families, and he shares practical wisdom about something kids desperately need:

Parents who are on the same team.

Kids notice when Mom and Dad disagree. They quickly learn which parent might give them the answer they want. But beyond that, Dr. Kim explains that children can find real security in knowing their parents are united, love them, and are making decisions together for their good.

One of the most practical ideas in this conversation is to look ahead.

Imagine your child is 18 and getting ready to leave your home.

Who do you hope they have become?

What character qualities do you hope they carry with them?

What do you hope they believe about Jesus, responsibility, kindness, relationships, and the way they treat other people?

Belah and Dr. Kim encourage husbands and wives to make those lists separately, rank what matters most, and then sit down together and talk about the "why" behind their priorities.

Instead of asking, "Whose parenting style wins?" ask:

"What are we trying to build in this child, and how can we do that together?"

They also talk about:

• Why parenting disagreements should usually happen privately instead of in front of your children.
• The difference between disciplining a child and simply punishing them.
• Why consistency and fairness matter so much.
• How your own childhood can influence the way you parent today.
• Why different children may require different approaches.
• How a simple signal between spouses can help you pause before a parenting disagreement turns into an argument.
• Why apologizing to your children when you get it wrong can actually teach them something powerful.

Parenting takes work. Marriage takes work too.

But you don't have to choose between being good parents and having a strong marriage.

The goal is to become a team—two people who may not always see things exactly the same way, but who are committed to prayer, listening, compromise, and raising their children toward the same destination.

As you listen, consider sharing this episode with your spouse and then asking:

"When our kids leave our home, who do we hope they have become?"

That conversation might be a powerful place to start.

 

With love and encouragement,

The Delight Your Marriage Team

PS - Want more insight into the health of your marriage? Take our free Marital Health Assessment to find out your Marital Health score.

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PPPS - Here is another quote from a recent graduate: "I have again realized how important the daily gratitudes are for setting a positive mindset at the beginning of my day, especially in times of stress and navigating challenging family situations.  I have been more intentional spending time praying, reading the Word and writing my gratitudes each day.  I understand how much my mood and attitude impact my husband and how much influence I have to make our marriage a happy one. My biggest celebrations were relearning how to focus on my husband's strengths, rather than his weaknesses and how those strengths are very different than mine.  Rather than becoming frustrated with our inability to agree on decisions regarding our new home, I tried to use my CIRQUE listening to understand him better and ask questions and talk less."