Give More Love Than You Take In Your Marriage

What does it really mean to love your spouse? We use the word love for everything from pets to food to cars, so Aaron and Jennifer Smith ask what makes the love we promise in marriage different. They challenge the feelings-based definition of love, pointing to a Harvard brain-scan study of dopamine responses, and argue that love is mostly a verb proven by action, modeled by Christ giving Himself up for the church in Ephesians 5. They critique transactional, balance-scale love where each spouse keeps a ledger, and explain why forgiveness, wiping out the debt instead of demanding repayment, is the fastest path to reconciliation. Drawing on the Good Samaritan and Paul's tentmaking in Acts 20, they encourage couples to give without expectation, because Christ never came to take.