Bids for Connection: Strengthening Your Marriage One Invitation at a Time

As couples, we aren’t bidding millions on artwork, movie props, or sports memorabilia. But we do regularly make emotional bids in marriage. Bids are invitations from and to our spouse for connection. Today, we talk about bids and how we can respond to them.

WAYS TO TURN TOWARD YOUR SPOUSE

1. Pay attention.
2. Practice active listening, validate feelings, and show interest
3. Prioritize Responding

TAKE THE “US TIME” CHALLENGE

Pay attention to your spouse’s bids for connection this week. Make it a priority to turn toward them.

LET US KNOW WHAT YOU THINK

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TEAM US RESOURCES

• Team Us: The Unifying Power of Grace, Commitment, and Cooperation in Marriage (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/)
• FREE Team Us Study Guide (https://ashleighslater.com/team-us/free-team-us-study-guide/)

LINKS MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE

• Greg and Erin Smalley’s definition of bids (https://www.instagram.com/p/DFV6iOfuHg-/?img_index=1)
• “Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids” by Logan Ury at Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/blog/want-to-improve-your-relationship-start-paying-more-attention-to-bids/)
• “Turn Towards Instead of Away” by Zach Brittle at Gottman Institute (https://www.gottman.com/blog/turn-toward-instead-of-away/)
• Gottman’s List of Minor Bids for Emotional Connection at Gottman Institute
• (https://www.gottman.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/List-of-bids-Graphic.png)
• “How to Recognize Your Partner’s ‘Bids for Connection’ and Maybe Save Your Relationship” by Brianne Hogan at LifeHack.com (https://lifehacker.com/how-to-recognize-your-partners-bids-for-connection-and-1848740174)

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